i wonder... part 2

Comes back stronger. as it means I have something to share with you on certain issues or something that can be an issue also, it can be just an opinion that can be discussed on. 

well, as you all know, I have shared my story on my previous pots/I don't really know why I share with all of you, but it just I think maybe I just want to spread some awareness on certain topics. it is not just about sharing awareness, but also the point of view from me. 

because of that, lots of people start ghosting me and leaving me hanging on. I would say, that is entirely my fault as maybe I do not consider their feelings. well, they are the ones who befriend me and maybe say something about me behind my back. I am sure there will always be talking here and there, whether silent or not so, from time to time, I get to meet my counselor to make myself feel better. there is no one who knows about anything that particular mental health issues because, in my opinion, is there anything change if I told anyone, and is it true people are going to accept me for who I am. I think no. people are just people trying to be themselves and only care for themselves. 

one of my friends, really explains why does that happens. like literally why. thank god the person did, as I know the reasons behind it all. honestly, I can make sense of it. I also know about it already. that is one of the first reasons that I could think of even when all of this started. don't ask me why I know, because I am a feeler and my intuition is always right. my instincts are always right. I expected it, you know. 

so, the person just said to me, because the person,and not just the person but all people that know me, thought of I am having problems. they think I need help. and they think I really need professional help. I need to seek help.  if not, I can be worse. as you know, I know it already, I know somehow, that I need to think of something to make myself better. but she doesn't know that. others also don't know that, as I did not tell anyone about that particular matter. only my counselor knows about it. 

as well as what she is saying, I can make sense of it. I appreciate her, for telling me the truth and I appreciate her for opening up to me and putting and arranging the words in a good way. from my perspective, I can understand her. 

I got what she meant. imagine, who wanna help the one with problems that is too much to carry for them because they are also heavy enough with their loads and all. in my opinion, they are trying to conserve all the energy to hold on to for themselves.  

another thing is maybe they are also not educated enough regarding this whole mental health thingies. people are different and the way people react to something is also different. 

if they are educated enough, that means they cannot handle a person like me, for me to be part of their life.  I mean they can be friends with me but honestly, they cannot handle me, they said, I am not a burden, but actually, I am. the words are just for comfort. so now, I know better. 

some people are really desperate for help. some people will help too, but still, it is all matter of time. they somehow will help the person one time, or to or three or maybe more than that. but what if more than ten times, people will slowly fade away eventually. that is human. the ones who are true enough will always be by your side, but not long last as our Almighty that will forever be with us eternally.