the real meaning

  Well, an update from me is that I would prefer to be alone rather than be part of someone that can ruin me. I am not saying that I am arrogant or what. It is just the way I want to protect myself from heartbreak again. You know, sometimes we befriend people but we cannot fit into society. We are trying to be ourselves but we can’t. we are trying to fit in, but we can’t. I am ain faiqah who will always try to be kind to anyone, but I also believe in self-consciousness and self-defense. I am really inspired by one of my friends as I know she felt the same too. I am comfortable with the staff here, as they are very fun. Well, things have changed and I think it would be better if I do it just for a professional matter. I think I am going to be professional because that is the best. You know, just let it be, just let it go. Well, for sure, I am so sorry for everything that I have done here, probably it will be too much. I think I might not give my best to hang with the people here and...

 Greetings! This is just a simple expression from my heart and I just wrote it for fun. Hope everything is okay and good.  Can I be better than before? Can I be myself back? Can I be more confident and more charismatic like always? I want to be the significant one. I want to be better. Here is the thing that I always wonder about am I good enough? Am I the best enough? I am doubting myself every minute and then. Questioning all things about my abilities, my decisions, and my life. Once, I have always made many accomplishments and was the best student in anything that I did, except for sports. I will always try my best, to achieve the best. I am sure that you people will think all about this too as it is a phase in life and you will realize it later. How do we fix this?   How do we improve ourselves? The answer will always be the same which is IT DEPENDS ON US! The main point that people will talk about. When it is about you, you depend on yourself. But, how do I do that? ...

 Pandemic covid-19 Hey guys and girls. As you know probably most of you will know about the pandemic of coronavirus that has been going on for two years ago, as it started in the year f 2020. What do you guys think about the effects of the pandemic in our life? Are there any changes in our life because of the coronavirus? What do you think? In my opinion, there are lots of changes happening to the world right now. Okay, some of you will probably think that now, currently has back to normal because some covid restrictions have been lifted and life has back to normal. Maybe, maybe we are slowly changing our life back but I doubt that there are no changes happening in our life. Regarding this covid19 issue in our country, it has been almost three years including 2022 that we have battled,  I feel like we just taking our turns to be affected by it. I don’t know. I don’t know if it is true or not, it is just o feel like it. Every day, I or we will listen and hear that every clo...

 Kita layan orng dengan baik atau kita buat orng happy, kita pun akan happy bila kita tengok orang happy. Imagine bila kita buat orang sedih dan terluka, kita rasa kita takde kesan apa apa pada kita. Tpi sebenarnya, kita buat orang sedih kita pun akan ada effects nya nanti. Maybe not now, maybe later, only times will tell. Karma is there you know. Karma itu wujud. I realized it now. There is this one time where I make people sad and it consumes me. But, when I make people happy, I am happy to the end, hoping the happiness will not run out. So it’s like, every action has reactions. You make people happy, there will be consequences and vice versa. It’s actually true that every action has reactions. There’s also a saying where it says, treat people like you want to be treated. This is actually true also. You treat people based on how you want to be treated but there are people who don’t have empathy and don’t understand this as much as most people do. They tend to be selfish and c...

Comes back stronger. as it means I have something to share with you on certain issues or something that can be an issue also, it can be just an opinion that can be discussed on.  well, as you all know, I have shared my story on my previous pots/I don't really know why I share with all of you, but it just I think maybe I just want to spread some awareness on certain topics. it is not just about sharing awareness, but also the point of view from me.  because of that, lots of people start ghosting me and leaving me hanging on. I would say, that is entirely my fault as maybe I do not consider their feelings. well, they are the ones who befriend me and maybe say something about me behind my back. I am sure there will always be talking here and there, whether silent or not so, from time to time, I get to meet my counselor to make myself feel better. there is no one who knows about anything that particular mental health issues because, in my opinion, is there anything change if I tol...

  I wonder, what if I can never be myself again? I wonder, do seriously my college is the reasons I became like this. Do college is the first time that I became like this. I wonder. I want to know why and I want to know the reasons behind all of this. I want answers and I think no one can give it to me other than myself, I don’t know. After all, I just wat to know the truth about myself. I am just sure that, I became like this started when I first study in this college. At the same time, I was thinking, do she really also the reasons I became like this. I started know her in college also, and she basically ghosted me now, and I thought to myself, is she also the reasons I became worst. I don’t want to blame any as I do not think that this is all her fault. Started on just being anxious always, keep on feeling nauseous and rapid heart beating or palpitations. Now, it became much worst cause sometimes, I will have the mental breakdown all in a sudden. Just the sudden urge of feelin...